Chapter 58
Part 58
11 min read · 2,158 words
“What do you think, then?” asked Noah, anxiously regarding him.
“Something in the sneaking way, where it was pretty sure work, and not
much more risk than being at home.”
“What do you think of the old ladies?” asked Fagin. “There’s a good
deal of money made in snatching their bags and parcels, and running
round the corner.”
“Don’t they holler out a good deal, and scratch sometimes?” asked Noah,
shaking his head. “I don’t think that would answer my purpose. Ain’t
there any other line open?”
“Stop!” said Fagin, laying his hand on Noah’s knee. “The kinchin lay.”
“What’s that?” demanded Mr. Claypole.
“The kinchins, my dear,” said Fagin, “is the young children that’s sent
on errands by their mothers, with sixpences and shillings; and the lay
is just to take their money away—they’ve always got it ready in their
hands,—then knock ’em into the kennel, and walk off very slow, as if
there were nothing else the matter but a child fallen down and hurt
itself. Ha! ha! ha!”
“Ha! ha!” roared Mr. Claypole, kicking up his legs in an ecstasy.
“Lord, that’s the very thing!”
“To be sure it is,” replied Fagin; “and you can have a few good beats
chalked out in Camden Town, and Battle Bridge, and neighborhoods like
that, where they’re always going errands; and you can upset as many
kinchins as you want, any hour in the day. Ha! ha! ha!”
With this, Fagin poked Mr. Claypole in the side, and they joined in a
burst of laughter both long and loud.
“Well, that’s all right!” said Noah, when he had recovered himself, and
Charlotte had returned. “What time tomorrow shall we say?”
“Will ten do?” asked Fagin, adding, as Mr. Claypole nodded assent,
“What name shall I tell my good friend.”
“Mr. Bolter,” replied Noah, who had prepared himself for such
emergency. “Mr. Morris Bolter. This is Mrs. Bolter.”
“Mrs. Bolter’s humble servant,” said Fagin, bowing with grotesque
politeness. “I hope I shall know her better very shortly.”
“Do you hear the gentleman, Charlotte?” thundered Mr. Claypole.
“Yes, Noah, dear!” replied Mrs. Bolter, extending her hand.
“She calls me Noah, as a sort of fond way of talking,” said Mr. Morris
Bolter, late Claypole, turning to Fagin. “You understand?”
“Oh yes, I understand—perfectly,” replied Fagin, telling the truth for
once. “Good-night! Good-night!”
With many adieus and good wishes, Mr. Fagin went his way. Noah
Claypole, bespeaking his good lady’s attention, proceeded to enlighten
her relative to the arrangement he had made, with all that haughtiness
and air of superiority, becoming, not only a member of the sterner sex,
but a gentleman who appreciated the dignity of a special appointment on
the kinchin lay, in London and its vicinity.
CHAPTER XLIII.
WHEREIN IS SHOWN HOW THE ARTFUL DODGER GOT INTO TROUBLE
“And so it was you that was your own friend, was it?” asked Mr.
Claypole, otherwise Bolter, when, by virtue of the compact entered into
between them, he had removed next day to Fagin’s house. “Cod, I thought
as much last night!”
“Every man’s his own friend, my dear,” replied Fagin, with his most
insinuating grin. “He hasn’t as good a one as himself anywhere.”
“Except sometimes,” replied Morris Bolter, assuming the air of a man of
the world. “Some people are nobody’s enemies but their own, yer know.”
“Don’t believe that,” said Fagin. “When a man’s his own enemy, it’s
only because he’s too much his own friend; not because he’s careful for
everybody but himself. Pooh! pooh! There ain’t such a thing in nature.”
“There oughn’t to be, if there is,” replied Mr. Bolter.
“That stands to reason. Some conjurers say that number three is the
magic number, and some say number seven. It’s neither, my friend,
neither. It’s number one.”
“Ha! ha!” cried Mr. Bolter. “Number one for ever.”
“In a little community like ours, my dear,” said Fagin, who felt it
necessary to qualify this position, “we have a general number one,
without considering me too as the same, and all the other young
people.”
“Oh, the devil!” exclaimed Mr. Bolter.
“You see,” pursued Fagin, affecting to disregard this interruption, “we
are so mixed up together, and identified in our interests, that it must
be so. For instance, it’s your object to take care of number
one—meaning yourself.”
“Certainly,” replied Mr. Bolter. “Yer about right there.”
“Well! You can’t take care of yourself, number one, without taking care
of me, number one.”
“Number two, you mean,” said Mr. Bolter, who was largely endowed with
the quality of selfishness.
“No, I don’t!” retorted Fagin. “I’m of the same importance to you, as
you are to yourself.”
“I say,” interrupted Mr. Bolter, “yer a very nice man, and I’m very
fond of yer; but we ain’t quite so thick together, as all that comes
to.”
“Only think,” said Fagin, shrugging his shoulders, and stretching out
his hands; “only consider. You’ve done what’s a very pretty thing, and
what I love you for doing; but what at the same time would put the
cravat round your throat, that’s so very easily tied and so very
difficult to unloose—in plain English, the halter!”
Mr. Bolter put his hand to his neckerchief, as if he felt it
inconveniently tight; and murmured an assent, qualified in tone but not
in substance.
“The gallows,” continued Fagin, “the gallows, my dear, is an ugly
finger-post, which points out a very short and sharp turning that has
stopped many a bold fellow’s career on the broad highway. To keep in
the easy road, and keep it at a distance, is object number one with
you.”
“Of course it is,” replied Mr. Bolter. “What do yer talk about such
things for?”
“Only to show you my meaning clearly,” said the Jew, raising his
eyebrows. “To be able to do that, you depend upon me. To keep my little
business all snug, I depend upon you. The first is your number one, the
second my number one. The more you value your number one, the more
careful you must be of mine; so we come at last to what I told you at
first—that a regard for number one holds us all together, and must do
so, unless we would all go to pieces in company.”
“That’s true,” rejoined Mr. Bolter, thoughtfully. “Oh! yer a cunning
old codger!”
Mr. Fagin saw, with delight, that this tribute to his powers was no
mere compliment, but that he had really impressed his recruit with a
sense of his wily genius, which it was most important that he should
entertain in the outset of their acquaintance. To strengthen an
impression so desirable and useful, he followed up the blow by
acquainting him, in some detail, with the magnitude and extent of his
operations; blending truth and fiction together, as best served his
purpose; and bringing both to bear, with so much art, that Mr. Bolter’s
respect visibly increased, and became tempered, at the same time, with
a degree of wholesome fear, which it was highly desirable to awaken.
“It’s this mutual trust we have in each other that consoles me under
heavy losses,” said Fagin. “My best hand was taken from me, yesterday
morning.”
“You don’t mean to say he died?” cried Mr. Bolter.
“No, no,” replied Fagin, “not so bad as that. Not quite so bad.”
“What, I suppose he was—”
“Wanted,” interposed Fagin. “Yes, he was wanted.”
“Very particular?” inquired Mr. Bolter.
“No,” replied Fagin, “not very. He was charged with attempting to pick
a pocket, and they found a silver snuff-box on him,—his own, my dear,
his own, for he took snuff himself, and was very fond of it. They
remanded him till today, for they thought they knew the owner. Ah! he
was worth fifty boxes, and I’d give the price of as many to have him
back. You should have known the Dodger, my dear; you should have known
the Dodger.”
“Well, but I shall know him, I hope; don’t yer think so?” said Mr.
Bolter.
“I’m doubtful about it,” replied Fagin, with a sigh. “If they don’t get
any fresh evidence, it’ll only be a summary conviction, and we shall
have him back again after six weeks or so; but, if they do, it’s a case
of lagging. They know what a clever lad he is; he’ll be a lifer.
They’ll make the Artful nothing less than a lifer.”
“What do you mean by lagging and a lifer?” demanded Mr. Bolter. “What’s
the good of talking in that way to me; why don’t yer speak so as I can
understand yer?”
Fagin was about to translate these mysterious expressions into the
vulgar tongue; and, being interpreted, Mr. Bolter would have been
informed that they represented that combination of words,
“transportation for life,” when the dialogue was cut short by the entry
of Master Bates, with his hands in his breeches-pockets, and his face
twisted into a look of semi-comical woe.
“It’s all up, Fagin,” said Charley, when he and his new companion had
been made known to each other.
“What do you mean?”
“They’ve found the gentleman as owns the box; two or three more’s a
coming to ’dentify him; and the Artful’s booked for a passage out,”
replied Master Bates. “I must have a full suit of mourning, Fagin, and
a hatband, to wisit him in, afore he sets out upon his travels. To
think of Jack Dawkins—lummy Jack—the Dodger—the Artful Dodger—going
abroad for a common twopenny-halfpenny sneeze-box! I never thought he’d
a done it under a gold watch, chain, and seals, at the lowest. Oh, why
didn’t he rob some rich old gentleman of all his walables, and go out
as a gentleman, and not like a common prig, without no honour nor
glory!”
With this expression of feeling for his unfortunate friend, Master
Bates sat himself on the nearest chair with an aspect of chagrin and
despondency.
“What do you talk about his having neither honour nor glory for!”
exclaimed Fagin, darting an angry look at his pupil. “Wasn’t he always
the top-sawyer among you all! Is there one of you that could touch him
or come near him on any scent! Eh?”
“Not one,” replied Master Bates, in a voice rendered husky by regret;
“not one.”
“Then what do you talk of?” replied Fagin angrily; “what are you
blubbering for?”
“’Cause it isn’t on the rec-ord, is it?” said Charley, chafed into
perfect defiance of his venerable friend by the current of his regrets;
“’cause it can’t come out in the ’dictment; ’cause nobody will never
know half of what he was. How will he stand in the Newgate Calendar?
P’raps not be there at all. Oh, my eye, my eye, wot a blow it is!”
“Ha! ha!” cried Fagin, extending his right hand, and turning to Mr.
Bolter in a fit of chuckling which shook him as though he had the
palsy; “see what a pride they take in their profession, my dear. Ain’t
it beautiful?”
Mr. Bolter nodded assent, and Fagin, after contemplating the grief of
Charley Bates for some seconds with evident satisfaction, stepped up to
that young gentleman and patted him on the shoulder.
“Never mind, Charley,” said Fagin soothingly; “it’ll come out, it’ll be
sure to come out. They’ll all know what a clever fellow he was; he’ll
show it himself, and not disgrace his old pals and teachers. Think how
young he is too! What a distinction, Charley, to be lagged at his time
of life!”
“Well, it is a honour that is!” said Charley, a little consoled.
“He shall have all he wants,” continued the Jew. “He shall be kept in
the Stone Jug, Charley, like a gentleman. Like a gentleman! With his
beer every day, and money in his pocket to pitch and toss with, if he
can’t spend it.”
“No, shall he though?” cried Charley Bates.
“Ay, that he shall,” replied Fagin, “and we’ll have a big-wig, Charley:
one that’s got the greatest gift of the gab: to carry on his defence;
and he shall make a speech for himself too, if he likes; and we’ll read
it all in the papers—‘Artful Dodger—shrieks of laughter—here the court
was convulsed’—eh, Charley, eh?”
“Ha! ha!” laughed Master Bates, “what a lark that would be, wouldn’t
it, Fagin? I say, how the Artful would bother ’em wouldn’t he?”
“Would!” cried Fagin. “He shall—he will!”
“Ah, to be sure, so he will,” repeated Charley, rubbing his hands.
“I think I see him now,” cried the Jew, bending his eyes upon his
pupil.
“So do I,” cried Charley Bates. “Ha! ha! ha! so do I. I see it all
afore me, upon my soul I do, Fagin. What a game! What a regular game!
All the big-wigs trying to look solemn, and Jack Dawkins addressing of
’em as intimate and comfortable as if he was the judge’s own son making
a speech arter dinner—ha! ha! ha!”
Charles Dickens — text from Project Gutenberg (eBook #730)
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