Chapter 12
Part 12
12 min read · 2,413 words
“Here, Pat, give us a g.p., like a good fellow.”
The curate brought him a glass of plain porter. The man drank it at a
gulp and asked for a caraway seed. He put his penny on the counter and,
leaving the curate to grope for it in the gloom, retreated out of the
snug as furtively as he had entered it.
Darkness, accompanied by a thick fog, was gaining upon the dusk of
February and the lamps in Eustace Street had been lit. The man went up
by the houses until he reached the door of the office, wondering
whether he could finish his copy in time. On the stairs a moist pungent
odour of perfumes saluted his nose: evidently Miss Delacour had come
while he was out in O’Neill’s. He crammed his cap back again into his
pocket and re-entered the office, assuming an air of absent-mindedness.
“Mr Alleyne has been calling for you,” said the chief clerk severely.
“Where were you?”
The man glanced at the two clients who were standing at the counter as
if to intimate that their presence prevented him from answering. As the
clients were both male the chief clerk allowed himself a laugh.
“I know that game,” he said. “Five times in one day is a little bit....
Well, you better look sharp and get a copy of our correspondence in the
Delacour case for Mr Alleyne.”
This address in the presence of the public, his run upstairs and the
porter he had gulped down so hastily confused the man and, as he sat
down at his desk to get what was required, he realised how hopeless was
the task of finishing his copy of the contract before half past five.
The dark damp night was coming and he longed to spend it in the bars,
drinking with his friends amid the glare of gas and the clatter of
glasses. He got out the Delacour correspondence and passed out of the
office. He hoped Mr Alleyne would not discover that the last two
letters were missing.
The moist pungent perfume lay all the way up to Mr Alleyne’s room. Miss
Delacour was a middle-aged woman of Jewish appearance. Mr Alleyne was
said to be sweet on her or on her money. She came to the office often
and stayed a long time when she came. She was sitting beside his desk
now in an aroma of perfumes, smoothing the handle of her umbrella and
nodding the great black feather in her hat. Mr Alleyne had swivelled
his chair round to face her and thrown his right foot jauntily upon his
left knee. The man put the correspondence on the desk and bowed
respectfully but neither Mr Alleyne nor Miss Delacour took any notice
of his bow. Mr Alleyne tapped a finger on the correspondence and then
flicked it towards him as if to say: _“That’s all right: you can go.”_
The man returned to the lower office and sat down again at his desk. He
stared intently at the incomplete phrase: _In no case shall the said
Bernard Bodley be_ ... and thought how strange it was that the last
three words began with the same letter. The chief clerk began to hurry
Miss Parker, saying she would never have the letters typed in time for
post. The man listened to the clicking of the machine for a few minutes
and then set to work to finish his copy. But his head was not clear and
his mind wandered away to the glare and rattle of the public-house. It
was a night for hot punches. He struggled on with his copy, but when
the clock struck five he had still fourteen pages to write. Blast it!
He couldn’t finish it in time. He longed to execrate aloud, to bring
his fist down on something violently. He was so enraged that he wrote
_Bernard Bernard_ instead of _Bernard Bodley_ and had to begin again on
a clean sheet.
He felt strong enough to clear out the whole office singlehanded. His
body ached to do something, to rush out and revel in violence. All the
indignities of his life enraged him.... Could he ask the cashier
privately for an advance? No, the cashier was no good, no damn good: he
wouldn’t give an advance.... He knew where he would meet the boys:
Leonard and O’Halloran and Nosey Flynn. The barometer of his emotional
nature was set for a spell of riot.
His imagination had so abstracted him that his name was called twice
before he answered. Mr Alleyne and Miss Delacour were standing outside
the counter and all the clerks had turned round in anticipation of
something. The man got up from his desk. Mr Alleyne began a tirade of
abuse, saying that two letters were missing. The man answered that he
knew nothing about them, that he had made a faithful copy. The tirade
continued: it was so bitter and violent that the man could hardly
restrain his fist from descending upon the head of the manikin before
him:
“I know nothing about any other two letters,” he said stupidly.
“_You—know—nothing_. Of course you know nothing,” said Mr Alleyne.
“Tell me,” he added, glancing first for approval to the lady beside
him, “do you take me for a fool? Do you think me an utter fool?”
The man glanced from the lady’s face to the little egg-shaped head and
back again; and, almost before he was aware of it, his tongue had found
a felicitous moment:
“I don’t think, sir,” he said, “that that’s a fair question to put to
me.”
There was a pause in the very breathing of the clerks. Everyone was
astounded (the author of the witticism no less than his neighbours) and
Miss Delacour, who was a stout amiable person, began to smile broadly.
Mr Alleyne flushed to the hue of a wild rose and his mouth twitched
with a dwarf’s passion. He shook his fist in the man’s face till it
seemed to vibrate like the knob of some electric machine:
“You impertinent ruffian! You impertinent ruffian! I’ll make short work
of you! Wait till you see! You’ll apologise to me for your impertinence
or you’ll quit the office instanter! You’ll quit this, I’m telling you,
or you’ll apologise to me!”
He stood in a doorway opposite the office watching to see if the
cashier would come out alone. All the clerks passed out and finally the
cashier came out with the chief clerk. It was no use trying to say a
word to him when he was with the chief clerk. The man felt that his
position was bad enough. He had been obliged to offer an abject apology
to Mr Alleyne for his impertinence but he knew what a hornet’s nest the
office would be for him. He could remember the way in which Mr Alleyne
had hounded little Peake out of the office in order to make room for
his own nephew. He felt savage and thirsty and revengeful, annoyed with
himself and with everyone else. Mr Alleyne would never give him an
hour’s rest; his life would be a hell to him. He had made a proper fool
of himself this time. Could he not keep his tongue in his cheek? But
they had never pulled together from the first, he and Mr Alleyne, ever
since the day Mr Alleyne had overheard him mimicking his North of
Ireland accent to amuse Higgins and Miss Parker: that had been the
beginning of it. He might have tried Higgins for the money, but sure
Higgins never had anything for himself. A man with two establishments
to keep up, of course he couldn’t....
He felt his great body again aching for the comfort of the
public-house. The fog had begun to chill him and he wondered could he
touch Pat in O’Neill’s. He could not touch him for more than a bob—and
a bob was no use. Yet he must get money somewhere or other: he had
spent his last penny for the g.p. and soon it would be too late for
getting money anywhere. Suddenly, as he was fingering his watch-chain,
he thought of Terry Kelly’s pawn-office in Fleet Street. That was the
dart! Why didn’t he think of it sooner?
He went through the narrow alley of Temple Bar quickly, muttering to
himself that they could all go to hell because he was going to have a
good night of it. The clerk in Terry Kelly’s said _A crown!_ but the
consignor held out for six shillings; and in the end the six shillings
was allowed him literally. He came out of the pawn-office joyfully,
making a little cylinder, of the coins between his thumb and fingers.
In Westmoreland Street the footpaths were crowded with young men and
women returning from business and ragged urchins ran here and there
yelling out the names of the evening editions. The man passed through
the crowd, looking on the spectacle generally with proud satisfaction
and staring masterfully at the office-girls. His head was full of the
noises of tram-gongs and swishing trolleys and his nose already sniffed
the curling fumes of punch. As he walked on he preconsidered the terms
in which he would narrate the incident to the boys:
“So, I just looked at him—coolly, you know, and looked at her. Then I
looked back at him again—taking my time, you know. ‘I don’t think that
that’s a fair question to put to me,’ says I.”
Nosey Flynn was sitting up in his usual corner of Davy Byrne’s and,
when he heard the story, he stood Farrington a half-one, saying it was
as smart a thing as ever he heard. Farrington stood a drink in his
turn. After a while O’Halloran and Paddy Leonard came in and the story
was repeated to them. O’Halloran stood tailors of malt, hot, all round
and told the story of the retort he had made to the chief clerk when he
was in Callan’s of Fownes’s Street; but, as the retort was after the
manner of the liberal shepherds in the eclogues, he had to admit that
it was not as clever as Farrington’s retort. At this Farrington told
the boys to polish off that and have another.
Just as they were naming their poisons who should come in but Higgins!
Of course he had to join in with the others. The men asked him to give
his version of it, and he did so with great vivacity for the sight of
five small hot whiskies was very exhilarating. Everyone roared laughing
when he showed the way in which Mr Alleyne shook his fist in
Farrington’s face. Then he imitated Farrington, saying, _“And here was
my nabs, as cool as you please,”_ while Farrington looked at the
company out of his heavy dirty eyes, smiling and at times drawing forth
stray drops of liquor from his moustache with the aid of his lower lip.
When that round was over there was a pause. O’Halloran had money but
neither of the other two seemed to have any; so the whole party left
the shop somewhat regretfully. At the corner of Duke Street Higgins and
Nosey Flynn bevelled off to the left while the other three turned back
towards the city. Rain was drizzling down on the cold streets and, when
they reached the Ballast Office, Farrington suggested the Scotch House.
The bar was full of men and loud with the noise of tongues and glasses.
The three men pushed past the whining match-sellers at the door and
formed a little party at the corner of the counter. They began to
exchange stories. Leonard introduced them to a young fellow named
Weathers who was performing at the Tivoli as an acrobat and knockabout
_artiste_. Farrington stood a drink all round. Weathers said he would
take a small Irish and Apollinaris. Farrington, who had definite
notions of what was what, asked the boys would they have an Apollinaris
too; but the boys told Tim to make theirs hot. The talk became
theatrical. O’Halloran stood a round and then Farrington stood another
round, Weathers protesting that the hospitality was too Irish. He
promised to get them in behind the scenes and introduce them to some
nice girls. O’Halloran said that he and Leonard would go, but that
Farrington wouldn’t go because he was a married man; and Farrington’s
heavy dirty eyes leered at the company in token that he understood he
was being chaffed. Weathers made them all have just one little tincture
at his expense and promised to meet them later on at Mulligan’s in
Poolbeg Street.
When the Scotch House closed they went round to Mulligan’s. They went
into the parlour at the back and O’Halloran ordered small hot specials
all round. They were all beginning to feel mellow. Farrington was just
standing another round when Weathers came back. Much to Farrington’s
relief he drank a glass of bitter this time. Funds were getting low but
they had enough to keep them going. Presently two young women with big
hats and a young man in a check suit came in and sat at a table close
by. Weathers saluted them and told the company that they were out of
the Tivoli. Farrington’s eyes wandered at every moment in the direction
of one of the young women. There was something striking in her
appearance. An immense scarf of peacock-blue muslin was wound round her
hat and knotted in a great bow under her chin; and she wore bright
yellow gloves, reaching to the elbow. Farrington gazed admiringly at
the plump arm which she moved very often and with much grace; and when,
after a little time, she answered his gaze he admired still more her
large dark brown eyes. The oblique staring expression in them
fascinated him. She glanced at him once or twice and, when the party
was leaving the room, she brushed against his chair and said _“O,
pardon!”_ in a London accent. He watched her leave the room in the hope
that she would look back at him, but he was disappointed. He cursed his
want of money and cursed all the rounds he had stood, particularly all
the whiskies and Apollinaris which he had stood to Weathers. If there
was one thing that he hated it was a sponge. He was so angry that he
lost count of the conversation of his friends.
James Joyce — text from Project Gutenberg (eBook #2814)
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