Chapter 9
IX
36 min read · 7,205 words
IX
At the kitchen door Daniel Byrne sat in his sleigh behind a big-boned
grey who pawed the snow and swung his long head restlessly from side to
side.
Ethan went into the kitchen and found his wife by the stove. Her head
was wrapped in her shawl, and she was reading a book called “Kidney
Troubles and Their Cure” on which he had had to pay extra postage only a
few days before.
Zeena did not move or look up when he entered, and after a moment he
asked: “Where’s Mattie?”
Without lifting her eyes from the page she replied: “I presume she’s
getting down her trunk.”
The blood rushed to his face. “Getting down her trunk—alone?”
“Jotham Powell’s down in the wood-lot, and Dan’l Byrne says he darsn’t
leave that horse,” she returned.
Her husband, without stopping to hear the end of the phrase, had left
the kitchen and sprung up the stairs. The door of Mattie’s room was
shut, and he wavered a moment on the landing. “Matt,” he said in a low
voice; but there was no answer, and he put his hand on the door-knob.
He had never been in her room except once, in the early summer, when
he had gone there to plaster up a leak in the eaves, but he remembered
exactly how everything had looked: the red-and-white quilt on her narrow
bed, the pretty pin-cushion on the chest of drawers, and over it the
enlarged photograph of her mother, in an oxydized frame, with a bunch of
dyed grasses at the back. Now these and all other tokens of her presence
had vanished, and the room looked as bare and comfortless as when Zeena
had shown her into it on the day of her arrival. In the middle of the
floor stood her trunk, and on the trunk she sat in her Sunday dress,
her back turned to the door and her face in her hands. She had not heard
Ethan’s call because she was sobbing and she did not hear his step till
he stood close behind her and laid his hands on her shoulders.
“Matt—oh, don’t—oh, _Matt_!”
She started up, lifting her wet face to his. “Ethan—I thought I wasn’t
ever going to see you again!”
He took her in his arms, pressing her close, and with a trembling hand
smoothed away the hair from her forehead.
“Not see me again? What do you mean?”
She sobbed out: “Jotham said you told him we wasn’t to wait dinner for
you, and I thought—”
“You thought I meant to cut it?” he finished for her grimly.
She clung to him without answering, and he laid his lips on her hair,
which was soft yet springy, like certain mosses on warm slopes, and had
the faint woody fragrance of fresh sawdust in the sun.
Through the door they heard Zeena’s voice calling out from below: “Dan’l
Byrne says you better hurry up if you want him to take that trunk.”
They drew apart with stricken faces. Words of resistance rushed to
Ethan’s lips and died there. Mattie found her handkerchief and dried her
eyes; then, bending down, she took hold of a handle of the trunk.
Ethan put her aside. “You let go, Matt,” he ordered her.
She answered: “It takes two to coax it round the corner”; and submitting
to this argument he grasped the other handle, and together they
manoeuvred the heavy trunk out to the landing.
“Now let go,” he repeated; then he shouldered the trunk and carried it
down the stairs and across the passage to the kitchen. Zeena, who had
gone back to her seat by the stove, did not lift her head from her book
as he passed. Mattie followed him out of the door and helped him to lift
the trunk into the back of the sleigh. When it was in place they stood
side by side on the door-step, watching Daniel Byrne plunge off behind
his fidgety horse.
It seemed to Ethan that his heart was bound with cords which an unseen
hand was tightening with every tick of the clock. Twice he opened his
lips to speak to Mattie and found no breath. At length, as she turned to
re-enter the house, he laid a detaining hand on her.
“I’m going to drive you over, Matt,” he whispered.
She murmured back: “I think Zeena wants I should go with Jotham.”
“I’m going to drive you over,” he repeated; and she went into the
kitchen without answering.
At dinner Ethan could not eat. If he lifted his eyes they rested on
Zeena’s pinched face, and the corners of her straight lips seemed to
quiver away into a smile. She ate well, declaring that the mild weather
made her feel better, and pressed a second helping of beans on Jotham
Powell, whose wants she generally ignored.
Mattie, when the meal was over, went about her usual task of clearing
the table and washing up the dishes. Zeena, after feeding the cat,
had returned to her rocking-chair by the stove, and Jotham Powell, who
always lingered last, reluctantly pushed back his chair and moved toward
the door.
On the threshold he turned back to say to Ethan: “What time’ll I come
round for Mattie?”
Ethan was standing near the window, mechanically filling his pipe while
he watched Mattie move to and fro. He answered: “You needn’t come round;
I’m going to drive her over myself.”
He saw the rise of the colour in Mattie’s averted cheek, and the quick
lifting of Zeena’s head.
“I want you should stay here this afternoon, Ethan,” his wife said.
“Jotham can drive Mattie over.”
Mattie flung an imploring glance at him, but he repeated curtly: “I’m
going to drive her over myself.”
Zeena continued in the same even tone: “I wanted you should stay and fix
up that stove in Mattie’s room afore the girl gets here. It ain’t been
drawing right for nigh on a month now.”
Ethan’s voice rose indignantly. “If it was good enough for Mattie I
guess it’s good enough for a hired girl.”
“That girl that’s coming told me she was used to a house where they had
a furnace,” Zeena persisted with the same monotonous mildness.
“She’d better ha’ stayed there then,” he flung back at her; and turning
to Mattie he added in a hard voice: “You be ready by three, Matt; I’ve
got business at Corbury.”
Jotham Powell had started for the barn, and Ethan strode down after him
aflame with anger. The pulses in his temples throbbed and a fog was in
his eyes. He went about his task without knowing what force directed
him, or whose hands and feet were fulfilling its orders. It was not till
he led out the sorrel and backed him between the shafts of the sleigh
that he once more became conscious of what he was doing. As he passed
the bridle over the horse’s head, and wound the traces around the
shafts, he remembered the day when he had made the same preparations
in order to drive over and meet his wife’s cousin at the Flats. It
was little more than a year ago, on just such a soft afternoon, with a
“feel” of spring in the air. The sorrel, turning the same big ringed eye
on him, nuzzled the palm of his hand in the same way; and one by one all
the days between rose up and stood before him....
He flung the bearskin into the sleigh, climbed to the seat, and drove up
to the house. When he entered the kitchen it was empty, but Mattie’s bag
and shawl lay ready by the door. He went to the foot of the stairs and
listened. No sound reached him from above, but presently he thought he
heard some one moving about in his deserted study, and pushing open the
door he saw Mattie, in her hat and jacket, standing with her back to him
near the table.
She started at his approach and turning quickly, said: “Is it time?”
“What are you doing here, Matt?” he asked her.
She looked at him timidly. “I was just taking a look round—that’s all,”
she answered, with a wavering smile.
They went back into the kitchen without speaking, and Ethan picked up
her bag and shawl.
“Where’s Zeena?” he asked.
“She went upstairs right after dinner. She said she had those shooting
pains again, and didn’t want to be disturbed.”
“Didn’t she say good-bye to you?”
“No. That was all she said.”
Ethan, looking slowly about the kitchen, said to himself with a shudder
that in a few hours he would be returning to it alone. Then the sense
of unreality overcame him once more, and he could not bring himself to
believe that Mattie stood there for the last time before him.
“Come on,” he said almost gaily, opening the door and putting her bag
into the sleigh. He sprang to his seat and bent over to tuck the rug
about her as she slipped into the place at his side. “Now then, go
’long,” he said, with a shake of the reins that sent the sorrel placidly
jogging down the hill.
“We got lots of time for a good ride, Matt!” he cried, seeking her hand
beneath the fur and pressing it in his. His face tingled and he felt
dizzy, as if he had stopped in at the Starkfield saloon on a zero day
for a drink.
At the gate, instead of making for Starkfield, he turned the sorrel to
the right, up the Bettsbridge road. Mattie sat silent, giving no sign
of surprise; but after a moment she said: “Are you going round by Shadow
Pond?”
He laughed and answered: “I knew you’d know!”
She drew closer under the bearskin, so that, looking sideways around his
coat-sleeve, he could just catch the tip of her nose and a blown brown
wave of hair. They drove slowly up the road between fields glistening
under the pale sun, and then bent to the right down a lane edged with
spruce and larch. Ahead of them, a long way off, a range of hills
stained by mottlings of black forest flowed away in round white curves
against the sky. The lane passed into a pine-wood with boles reddening
in the afternoon sun and delicate blue shadows on the snow. As they
entered it the breeze fell and a warm stillness seemed to drop from the
branches with the dropping needles. Here the snow was so pure that the
tiny tracks of wood-animals had left on it intricate lace-like patterns,
and the bluish cones caught in its surface stood out like ornaments of
bronze.
Ethan drove on in silence till they reached a part of the wood where the
pines were more widely spaced; then he drew up and helped Mattie to get
out of the sleigh. They passed between the aromatic trunks, the snow
breaking crisply under their feet, till they came to a small sheet
of water with steep wooded sides. Across its frozen surface, from the
farther bank, a single hill rising against the western sun threw the
long conical shadow which gave the lake its name. It was a shy secret
spot, full of the same dumb melancholy that Ethan felt in his heart.
He looked up and down the little pebbly beach till his eye lit on a
fallen tree-trunk half submerged in snow.
“There’s where we sat at the picnic,” he reminded her.
The entertainment of which he spoke was one of the few that they had
taken part in together: a “church picnic” which, on a long afternoon of
the preceding summer, had filled the retired place with merry-making.
Mattie had begged him to go with her but he had refused. Then, toward
sunset, coming down from the mountain where he had been felling timber,
he had been caught by some strayed revellers and drawn into the group by
the lake, where Mattie, encircled by facetious youths, and bright as
a blackberry under her spreading hat, was brewing coffee over a gipsy
fire. He remembered the shyness he had felt at approaching her in his
uncouth clothes, and then the lighting up of her face, and the way she
had broken through the group to come to him with a cup in her hand. They
had sat for a few minutes on the fallen log by the pond, and she had
missed her gold locket, and set the young men searching for it; and it
was Ethan who had spied it in the moss.... That was all; but all their
intercourse had been made up of just such inarticulate flashes, when
they seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if they had surprised a
butterfly in the winter woods....
“It was right there I found your locket,” he said, pushing his foot into
a dense tuft of blueberry bushes.
“I never saw anybody with such sharp eyes!” she answered.
She sat down on the tree-trunk in the sun and he sat down beside her.
“You were as pretty as a picture in that pink hat,” he said.
She laughed with pleasure. “Oh, I guess it was the hat!” she rejoined.
They had never before avowed their inclination so openly, and Ethan, for
a moment, had the illusion that he was a free man, wooing the girl he
meant to marry. He looked at her hair and longed to touch it again, and
to tell her that it smelt of the woods; but he had never learned to say
such things.
Suddenly she rose to her feet and said: “We mustn’t stay here any
longer.”
He continued to gaze at her vaguely, only half-roused from his dream.
“There’s plenty of time,” he answered.
They stood looking at each other as if the eyes of each were straining
to absorb and hold fast the other’s image. There were things he had to
say to her before they parted, but he could not say them in that place
of summer memories, and he turned and followed her in silence to
the sleigh. As they drove away the sun sank behind the hill and the
pine-boles turned from red to grey.
By a devious track between the fields they wound back to the Starkfield
road. Under the open sky the light was still clear, with a reflection of
cold red on the eastern hills. The clumps of trees in the snow seemed to
draw together in ruffled lumps, like birds with their heads under their
wings; and the sky, as it paled, rose higher, leaving the earth more
alone.
As they turned into the Starkfield road Ethan said: “Matt, what do you
mean to do?”
She did not answer at once, but at length she said: “I’ll try to get a
place in a store.”
“You know you can’t do it. The bad air and the standing all day nearly
killed you before.”
“I’m a lot stronger than I was before I came to Starkfield.”
“And now you’re going to throw away all the good it’s done you!”
There seemed to be no answer to this, and again they drove on for a
while without speaking. With every yard of the way some spot where they
had stood, and laughed together or been silent, clutched at Ethan and
dragged him back.
“Isn’t there any of your father’s folks could help you?”
“There isn’t any of ’em I’d ask.”
He lowered his voice to say: “You know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for
you if I could.”
“I know there isn’t.”
“But I can’t—”
She was silent, but he felt a slight tremor in the shoulder against his.
“Oh, Matt,” he broke out, “if I could ha’ gone with you now I’d ha’ done
it—”
She turned to him, pulling a scrap of paper from her breast. “Ethan—I
found this,” she stammered. Even in the failing light he saw it was the
letter to his wife that he had begun the night before and forgotten
to destroy. Through his astonishment there ran a fierce thrill of joy.
“Matt—” he cried; “if I could ha’ done it, would you?”
“Oh, Ethan, Ethan—what’s the use?” With a sudden movement she tore the
letter in shreds and sent them fluttering off into the snow.
“Tell me, Matt! Tell me!” he adjured her.
She was silent for a moment; then she said, in such a low tone that he
had to stoop his head to hear her: “I used to think of it sometimes,
summer nights when the moon was so bright. I couldn’t sleep.”
His heart reeled with the sweetness of it. “As long ago as that?”
She answered, as if the date had long been fixed for her: “The first
time was at Shadow Pond.”
“Was that why you gave me my coffee before the others?”
“I don’t know. Did I? I was dreadfully put out when you wouldn’t go to
the picnic with me; and then, when I saw you coming down the road, I
thought maybe you’d gone home that way o’ purpose; and that made me
glad.”
They were silent again. They had reached the point where the road
dipped to the hollow by Ethan’s mill and as they descended the darkness
descended with them, dropping down like a black veil from the heavy
hemlock boughs.
“I’m tied hand and foot, Matt. There isn’t a thing I can do,” he began
again.
“You must write to me sometimes, Ethan.”
“Oh, what good’ll writing do? I want to put my hand out and touch you. I
want to do for you and care for you. I want to be there when you’re sick
and when you’re lonesome.”
“You mustn’t think but what I’ll do all right.”
“You won’t need me, you mean? I suppose you’ll marry!”
“Oh, Ethan!” she cried.
“I don’t know how it is you make me feel, Matt. I’d a’most rather have
you dead than that!”
“Oh, I wish I was, I wish I was!” she sobbed.
The sound of her weeping shook him out of his dark anger, and he felt
ashamed.
“Don’t let’s talk that way,” he whispered.
“Why shouldn’t we, when it’s true? I’ve been wishing it every minute of
the day.”
“Matt! You be quiet! Don’t you say it.”
“There’s never anybody been good to me but you.”
“Don’t say that either, when I can’t lift a hand for you!”
“Yes; but it’s true just the same.”
They had reached the top of School House Hill and Starkfield lay below
them in the twilight. A cutter, mounting the road from the village,
passed them by in a joyous flutter of bells, and they straightened
themselves and looked ahead with rigid faces. Along the main street
lights had begun to shine from the house-fronts and stray figures were
turning in here and there at the gates. Ethan, with a touch of his whip,
roused the sorrel to a languid trot.
As they drew near the end of the village the cries of children reached
them, and they saw a knot of boys, with sleds behind them, scattering
across the open space before the church.
“I guess this’ll be their last coast for a day or two,” Ethan said,
looking up at the mild sky.
Mattie was silent, and he added: “We were to have gone down last night.”
Still she did not speak and, prompted by an obscure desire to
help himself and her through their miserable last hour, he went on
discursively: “Ain’t it funny we haven’t been down together but just
that once last winter?”
She answered: “It wasn’t often I got down to the village.”
“That’s so,” he said.
They had reached the crest of the Corbury road, and between the
indistinct white glimmer of the church and the black curtain of the
Varnum spruces the slope stretched away below them without a sled on its
length. Some erratic impulse prompted Ethan to say: “How’d you like me
to take you down now?”
She forced a laugh. “Why, there isn’t time!”
“There’s all the time we want. Come along!” His one desire now was to
postpone the moment of turning the sorrel toward the Flats.
“But the girl,” she faltered. “The girl’ll be waiting at the station.”
“Well, let her wait. You’d have to if she didn’t. Come!”
The note of authority in his voice seemed to subdue her, and when he
had jumped from the sleigh she let him help her out, saying only, with a
vague feint of reluctance: “But there isn’t a sled round anywheres.”
“Yes, there is! Right over there under the spruces.” He threw the
bearskin over the sorrel, who stood passively by the roadside, hanging
a meditative head. Then he caught Mattie’s hand and drew her after him
toward the sled.
She seated herself obediently and he took his place behind her, so close
that her hair brushed his face. “All right, Matt?” he called out, as if
the width of the road had been between them.
She turned her head to say: “It’s dreadfully dark. Are you sure you can
see?”
He laughed contemptuously: “I could go down this coast with my
eyes tied!” and she laughed with him, as if she liked his audacity.
Nevertheless he sat still a moment, straining his eyes down the long
hill, for it was the most confusing hour of the evening, the hour when
the last clearness from the upper sky is merged with the rising night in
a blur that disguises landmarks and falsifies distances.
“Now!” he cried.
The sled started with a bound, and they flew on through the dusk,
gathering smoothness and speed as they went, with the hollow night
opening out below them and the air singing by like an organ. Mattie sat
perfectly still, but as they reached the bend at the foot of the hill,
where the big elm thrust out a deadly elbow, he fancied that she shrank
a little closer.
“Don’t be scared, Matt!” he cried exultantly, as they spun safely past
it and flew down the second slope; and when they reached the level
ground beyond, and the speed of the sled began to slacken, he heard her
give a little laugh of glee.
They sprang off and started to walk back up the hill. Ethan dragged the
sled with one hand and passed the other through Mattie’s arm.
“Were you scared I’d run you into the elm?” he asked with a boyish
laugh.
“I told you I was never scared with you,” she answered.
The strange exaltation of his mood had brought on one of his rare fits
of boastfulness. “It _is_ a tricky place, though. The least swerve,
and we’d never ha’ come up again. But I can measure distances to a
hair’s-breadth—always could.”
She murmured: “I always say you’ve got the surest eye....”
Deep silence had fallen with the starless dusk, and they leaned on each
other without speaking; but at every step of their climb Ethan said to
himself: “It’s the last time we’ll ever walk together.”
They mounted slowly to the top of the hill. When they were abreast of
the church he stooped his head to her to ask: “Are you tired?” and she
answered, breathing quickly: “It was splendid!”
With a pressure of his arm he guided her toward the Norway spruces. “I
guess this sled must be Ned Hale’s. Anyhow I’ll leave it where I found
it.” He drew the sled up to the Varnum gate and rested it against the
fence. As he raised himself he suddenly felt Mattie close to him among
the shadows.
“Is this where Ned and Ruth kissed each other?” she whispered
breathlessly, and flung her arms about him. Her lips, groping for his,
swept over his face, and he held her fast in a rapture of surprise.
“Good-bye-good-bye,” she stammered, and kissed him again.
“Oh, Matt, I can’t let you go!” broke from him in the same old cry.
She freed herself from his hold and he heard her sobbing. “Oh, I can’t
go either!” she wailed.
“Matt! What’ll we do? What’ll we do?”
They clung to each other’s hands like children, and her body shook with
desperate sobs.
Through the stillness they heard the church clock striking five.
“Oh, Ethan, it’s time!” she cried.
He drew her back to him. “Time for what? You don’t suppose I’m going to
leave you now?”
“If I missed my train where’d I go?”
“Where are you going if you catch it?”
She stood silent, her hands lying cold and relaxed in his.
“What’s the good of either of us going anywheres without the other one
now?” he said.
She remained motionless, as if she had not heard him. Then she snatched
her hands from his, threw her arms about his neck, and pressed a sudden
drenched cheek against his face. “Ethan! Ethan! I want you to take me
down again!”
“Down where?”
“The coast. Right off,” she panted. “So ’t we’ll never come up any
more.”
“Matt! What on earth do you mean?”
She put her lips close against his ear to say: “Right into the big elm.
You said you could. So ’t we’d never have to leave each other any more.”
“Why, what are you talking of? You’re crazy!”
“I’m not crazy; but I will be if I leave you.”
“Oh, Matt, Matt—” he groaned.
She tightened her fierce hold about his neck. Her face lay close to his
face.
“Ethan, where’ll I go if I leave you? I don’t know how to get along
alone. You said so yourself just now. Nobody but you was ever good to
me. And there’ll be that strange girl in the house ... and she’ll sleep
in my bed, where I used to lay nights and listen to hear you come up the
stairs....”
The words were like fragments torn from his heart. With them came the
hated vision of the house he was going back to—of the stairs he would
have to go up every night, of the woman who would wait for him there.
And the sweetness of Mattie’s avowal, the wild wonder of knowing at
last that all that had happened to him had happened to her too, made the
other vision more abhorrent, the other life more intolerable to return
to....
Her pleadings still came to him between short sobs, but he no longer
heard what she was saying. Her hat had slipped back and he was stroking
her hair. He wanted to get the feeling of it into his hand, so that it
would sleep there like a seed in winter. Once he found her mouth again,
and they seemed to be by the pond together in the burning August sun.
But his cheek touched hers, and it was cold and full of weeping, and he
saw the road to the Flats under the night and heard the whistle of the
train up the line.
The spruces swathed them in blackness and silence. They might have been
in their coffins underground. He said to himself: “Perhaps it’ll feel
like this...” and then again: “After this I sha’n’t feel anything....”
Suddenly he heard the old sorrel whinny across the road, and thought:
“He’s wondering why he doesn’t get his supper....”
“Come!” Mattie whispered, tugging at his hand.
Her sombre violence constrained him: she seemed the embodied instrument
of fate. He pulled the sled out, blinking like a night-bird as he passed
from the shade of the spruces into the transparent dusk of the open. The
slope below them was deserted. All Starkfield was at supper, and not a
figure crossed the open space before the church. The sky, swollen with
the clouds that announce a thaw, hung as low as before a summer storm.
He strained his eyes through the dimness, and they seemed less keen,
less capable than usual.
He took his seat on the sled and Mattie instantly placed herself in
front of him. Her hat had fallen into the snow and his lips were in her
hair. He stretched out his legs, drove his heels into the road to keep
the sled from slipping forward, and bent her head back between his
hands. Then suddenly he sprang up again.
“Get up,” he ordered her.
It was the tone she always heeded, but she cowered down in her seat,
repeating vehemently: “No, no, no!”
“Get up!”
“Why?”
“I want to sit in front.”
“No, no! How can you steer in front?”
“I don’t have to. We’ll follow the track.”
They spoke in smothered whispers, as though the night were listening.
“Get up! Get up!” he urged her; but she kept on repeating: “Why do you
want to sit in front?”
“Because I—because I want to feel you holding me,” he stammered, and
dragged her to her feet.
The answer seemed to satisfy her, or else she yielded to the power of
his voice. He bent down, feeling in the obscurity for the glassy slide
worn by preceding coasters, and placed the runners carefully between its
edges. She waited while he seated himself with crossed legs in the front
of the sled; then she crouched quickly down at his back and clasped her
arms about him. Her breath in his neck set him shuddering again, and
he almost sprang from his seat. But in a flash he remembered the
alternative. She was right: this was better than parting. He leaned back
and drew her mouth to his....
Just as they started he heard the sorrel’s whinny again, and the
familiar wistful call, and all the confused images it brought with it,
went with him down the first reach of the road. Half-way down there
was a sudden drop, then a rise, and after that another long delirious
descent. As they took wing for this it seemed to him that they were
flying indeed, flying far up into the cloudy night, with Starkfield
immeasurably below them, falling away like a speck in space.... Then the
big elm shot up ahead, lying in wait for them at the bend of the road,
and he said between his teeth: “We can fetch it; I know we can fetch
it—”
As they flew toward the tree Mattie pressed her arms tighter, and her
blood seemed to be in his veins. Once or twice the sled swerved a little
under them. He slanted his body to keep it headed for the elm, repeating
to himself again and again: “I know we can fetch it”; and little phrases
she had spoken ran through his head and danced before him on the air.
The big tree loomed bigger and closer, and as they bore down on it
he thought: “It’s waiting for us: it seems to know.” But suddenly his
wife’s face, with twisted monstrous lineaments, thrust itself between
him and his goal, and he made an instinctive movement to brush it aside.
The sled swerved in response, but he righted it again, kept it straight,
and drove down on the black projecting mass. There was a last instant
when the air shot past him like millions of fiery wires; and then the
elm....
The sky was still thick, but looking straight up he saw a single star,
and tried vaguely to reckon whether it were Sirius, or—or—The effort
tired him too much, and he closed his heavy lids and thought that he
would sleep.... The stillness was so profound that he heard a little
animal twittering somewhere near by under the snow. It made a small
frightened _cheep_ like a field mouse, and he wondered languidly if
it were hurt. Then he understood that it must be in pain: pain so
excruciating that he seemed, mysteriously, to feel it shooting through
his own body. He tried in vain to roll over in the direction of the
sound, and stretched his left arm out across the snow. And now it was as
though he felt rather than heard the twittering; it seemed to be under
his palm, which rested on something soft and springy. The thought of
the animal’s suffering was intolerable to him and he struggled to raise
himself, and could not because a rock, or some huge mass, seemed to be
lying on him. But he continued to finger about cautiously with his left
hand, thinking he might get hold of the little creature and help it; and
all at once he knew that the soft thing he had touched was Mattie’s hair
and that his hand was on her face.
He dragged himself to his knees, the monstrous load on him moving with
him as he moved, and his hand went over and over her face, and he felt
that the twittering came from her lips....
He got his face down close to hers, with his ear to her mouth, and in
the darkness he saw her eyes open and heard her say his name.
“Oh, Matt, I thought we’d fetched it,” he moaned; and far off, up the
hill, he heard the sorrel whinny, and thought: “I ought to be getting
him his feed....”
*****
THE QUERULOUS DRONE ceased as I entered Frome’s kitchen, and of the two
women sitting there I could not tell which had been the speaker.
One of them, on my appearing, raised her tall bony figure from her seat,
not as if to welcome me—for she threw me no more than a brief glance
of surprise—but simply to set about preparing the meal which Frome’s
absence had delayed. A slatternly calico wrapper hung from her shoulders
and the wisps of her thin grey hair were drawn away from a high forehead
and fastened at the back by a broken comb. She had pale opaque eyes
which revealed nothing and reflected nothing, and her narrow lips were
of the same sallow colour as her face.
The other woman was much smaller and slighter. She sat huddled in an
arm-chair near the stove, and when I came in she turned her head quickly
toward me, without the least corresponding movement of her body.
Her hair was as grey as her companion’s, her face as bloodless and
shrivelled, but amber-tinted, with swarthy shadows sharpening the nose
and hollowing the temples. Under her shapeless dress her body kept its
limp immobility, and her dark eyes had the bright witch-like stare that
disease of the spine sometimes gives.
Even for that part of the country the kitchen was a poor-looking place.
With the exception of the dark-eyed woman’s chair, which looked like a
soiled relic of luxury bought at a country auction, the furniture was of
the roughest kind. Three coarse china plates and a broken-nosed milk-jug
had been set on a greasy table scored with knife-cuts, and a couple
of straw-bottomed chairs and a kitchen dresser of unpainted pine stood
meagrely against the plaster walls.
“My, it’s cold here! The fire must be ’most out,” Frome said, glancing
about him apologetically as he followed me in.
The tall woman, who had moved away from us toward the dresser, took no
notice; but the other, from her cushioned niche, answered complainingly,
in a high thin voice. “It’s on’y just been made up this very minute.
Zeena fell asleep and slep’ ever so long, and I thought I’d be frozen
stiff before I could wake her up and get her to ’tend to it.”
I knew then that it was she who had been speaking when we entered.
Her companion, who was just coming back to the table with the remains
of a cold mince-pie in a battered pie-dish, set down her unappetising
burden without appearing to hear the accusation brought against her.
Frome stood hesitatingly before her as she advanced; then he looked at
me and said: “This is my wife, Mis’ Frome.” After another interval he
added, turning toward the figure in the arm-chair: “And this is Miss
Mattie Silver....”
*****
Mrs. Hale, tender soul, had pictured me as lost in the Flats and buried
under a snow-drift; and so lively was her satisfaction on seeing me
safely restored to her the next morning that I felt my peril had caused
me to advance several degrees in her favour.
Great was her amazement, and that of old Mrs. Varnum, on learning that
Ethan Frome’s old horse had carried me to and from Corbury Junction
through the worst blizzard of the winter; greater still their surprise
when they heard that his master had taken me in for the night.
Beneath their wondering exclamations I felt a secret curiosity to know
what impressions I had received from my night in the Frome household,
and divined that the best way of breaking down their reserve was to let
them try to penetrate mine. I therefore confined myself to saying, in a
matter-of-fact tone, that I had been received with great kindness, and
that Frome had made a bed for me in a room on the ground-floor which
seemed in happier days to have been fitted up as a kind of writing-room
or study.
“Well,” Mrs. Hale mused, “in such a storm I suppose he felt he couldn’t
do less than take you in—but I guess it went hard with Ethan. I don’t
believe but what you’re the only stranger has set foot in that house for
over twenty years. He’s that proud he don’t even like his oldest friends
to go there; and I don’t know as any do, any more, except myself and the
doctor....”
“You still go there, Mrs. Hale?” I ventured.
“I used to go a good deal after the accident, when I was first married;
but after awhile I got to think it made ’em feel worse to see us. And
then one thing and another came, and my own troubles.... But I generally
make out to drive over there round about New Year’s, and once in the
summer. Only I always try to pick a day when Ethan’s off somewheres.
It’s bad enough to see the two women sitting there—but _his_ face, when he
looks round that bare place, just kills me.... You see, I can look back
and call it up in his mother’s day, before their troubles.”
Old Mrs. Varnum, by this time, had gone up to bed, and her daughter
and I were sitting alone, after supper, in the austere seclusion of
the horse-hair parlour. Mrs. Hale glanced at me tentatively, as though
trying to see how much footing my conjectures gave her; and I guessed
that if she had kept silence till now it was because she had been
waiting, through all the years, for some one who should see what she
alone had seen.
I waited to let her trust in me gather strength before I said: “Yes,
it’s pretty bad, seeing all three of them there together.”
She drew her mild brows into a frown of pain. “It was just awful from
the beginning. I was here in the house when they were carried up—they
laid Mattie Silver in the room you’re in. She and I were great friends,
and she was to have been my bridesmaid in the spring.... When she came
to I went up to her and stayed all night. They gave her things to quiet
her, and she didn’t know much till to’rd morning, and then all of a
sudden she woke up just like herself, and looked straight at me out
of her big eyes, and said.... Oh, I don’t know why I’m telling you all
this,” Mrs. Hale broke off, crying.
She took off her spectacles, wiped the moisture from them, and put them
on again with an unsteady hand. “It got about the next day,” she went
on, “that Zeena Frome had sent Mattie off in a hurry because she had a
hired girl coming, and the folks here could never rightly tell what she
and Ethan were doing that night coasting, when they’d ought to have been
on their way to the Flats to ketch the train.... I never knew myself
what Zeena thought—I don’t to this day. Nobody knows Zeena’s thoughts.
Anyhow, when she heard o’ the accident she came right in and stayed with
Ethan over to the minister’s, where they’d carried him. And as soon as
the doctors said that Mattie could be moved, Zeena sent for her and took
her back to the farm.”
“And there she’s been ever since?”
Mrs. Hale answered simply: “There was nowhere else for her to go”; and
my heart tightened at the thought of the hard compulsions of the poor.
“Yes, there she’s been,” Mrs. Hale continued, “and Zeena’s done for her,
and done for Ethan, as good as she could. It was a miracle, considering
how sick she was—but she seemed to be raised right up just when the call
came to her. Not as she’s ever given up doctoring, and she’s had sick
spells right along; but she’s had the strength given her to care for
those two for over twenty years, and before the accident came she
thought she couldn’t even care for herself.”
Mrs. Hale paused a moment, and I remained silent, plunged in the vision
of what her words evoked. “It’s horrible for them all,” I murmured.
“Yes: it’s pretty bad. And they ain’t any of ’em easy people either.
Mattie _was_, before the accident; I never knew a sweeter nature. But
she’s suffered too much—that’s what I always say when folks tell me how
she’s soured. And Zeena, she was always cranky. Not but what she bears
with Mattie wonderful—I’ve seen that myself. But sometimes the two
of them get going at each other, and then Ethan’s face’d break your
heart.... When I see that, I think it’s _him_ that suffers most ... anyhow
it ain’t Zeena, because she ain’t got the time.... It’s a pity, though,”
Mrs. Hale ended, sighing, “that they’re all shut up there’n that one
kitchen. In the summertime, on pleasant days, they move Mattie into
the parlour, or out in the door-yard, and that makes it easier ... but
winters there’s the fires to be thought of; and there ain’t a dime to
spare up at the Fromes.’”
Mrs. Hale drew a deep breath, as though her memory were eased of its
long burden, and she had no more to say; but suddenly an impulse of
complete avowal seized her.
She took off her spectacles again, leaned toward me across the bead-work
table-cover, and went on with lowered voice: “There was one day, about
a week after the accident, when they all thought Mattie couldn’t live.
Well, I say it’s a pity she _did_. I said it right out to our minister
once, and he was shocked at me. Only he wasn’t with me that morning
when she first came to.... And I say, if she’d ha’ died, Ethan might ha’
lived; and the way they are now, I don’t see’s there’s much difference
between the Fromes up at the farm and the Fromes down in the graveyard;
’cept that down there they’re all quiet, and the women have got to hold
their tongues.”
Edith Wharton — text from Project Gutenberg (eBook #4517)
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