Part 7

The concierge, before she became a concierge, had owned a drink-selling concession at the Paris race-courses. Her life-work lay in the pelouse, but she kept an eye on the people of the pesage, and she took great pride in telling me which of my guests were well brought up, which were of good family, who were sportsmen, a French word pronounced with the accent on the men. The only trouble was that people who did not fall into any of those three categories were very liable to be told there was no one home, chez Barnes. One of my friends, an extremely underfed-looking painter, who was obviously to Madame Duzinell neither well brought up, of good family, nor a sportsman, wrote me a letter asking if I could get him a pass to get by the concierge so he could come up and see me occasionally in the evenings. I went up to the flat wondering what Brett had done to the concierge. The wire was a cable from Bill Gorton, saying he was arriving on the _France_. I put the mail on the table, went back to the bedroom, undressed and had a shower. I was rubbing down when I heard the door-bell pull. I put on a bathrobe and slippers and went to the door. It was Brett. Back of her was the count. He was holding a great bunch of roses. “Hello, darling,” said Brett. “Aren’t you going to let us in?” “Come on. I was just bathing.” “Aren’t you the fortunate man. Bathing.” “Only a shower. Sit down, Count Mippipopolous. What will you drink?” “I don’t know whether you like flowers, sir,” the count said, “but I took the liberty of just bringing these roses.” “Here, give them to me.” Brett took them. “Get me some water in this, Jake.” I filled the big earthenware jug with water in the kitchen, and Brett put the roses in it, and placed them in the centre of the dining-room table. “I say. We have had a day.” “You don’t remember anything about a date with me at the Crillon?” “No. Did we have one? I must have been blind.” “You were quite drunk, my dear,” said the count. “Wasn’t I, though? And the count’s been a brick, absolutely.” “You’ve got hell’s own drag with the concierge now.” “I ought to have. Gave her two hundred francs.” “Don’t be a damned fool.” “His,” she said, and nodded at the count. “I thought we ought to give her a little something for last night. It was very late.” “He’s wonderful,” Brett said. “He remembers everything that’s happened.” “So do you, my dear.” “Fancy,” said Brett. “Who’d want to? I say, Jake, _do_ we get a drink?” “You get it while I go in and dress. You know where it is.” “Rather.” While I dressed I heard Brett put down glasses and then a siphon, and then heard them talking. I dressed slowly, sitting on the bed. I felt tired and pretty rotten. Brett came in the room, a glass in her hand, and sat on the bed. “What’s the matter, darling? Do you feel rocky?” She kissed me coolly on the forehead. “Oh, Brett, I love you so much.” “Darling,” she said. Then: “Do you want me to send him away?” “No. He’s nice.” “I’ll send him away.” “No, don’t.” “Yes, I’ll send him away.” “You can’t just like that.” “Can’t I, though? You stay here. He’s mad about me, I tell you.” She was gone out of the room. I lay face down on the bed. I was having a bad time. I heard them talking but I did not listen. Brett came in and sat on the bed. “Poor old darling.” She stroked my head. “What did you say to him?” I was lying with my face away from her. I did not want to see her. “Sent him for champagne. He loves to go for champagne.” Then later: “Do you feel better, darling? Is the head any better?” “It’s better.” “Lie quiet. He’s gone to the other side of town.” “Couldn’t we live together, Brett? Couldn’t we just live together?” “I don’t think so. I’d just _tromper_ you with everybody. You couldn’t stand it.” “I stand it now.” “That would be different. It’s my fault, Jake. It’s the way I’m made.” “Couldn’t we go off in the country for a while?” “It wouldn’t be any good. I’ll go if you like. But I couldn’t live quietly in the country. Not with my own true love.” “I know.” “Isn’t it rotten? There isn’t any use my telling you I love you.” “You know I love you.” “Let’s not talk. Talking’s all bilge. I’m going away from you, and then Michael’s coming back.” “Why are you going away?” “Better for you. Better for me.” “When are you going?” “Soon as I can.” “Where?” “San Sebastian.” “Can’t we go together?” “No. That would be a hell of an idea after we’d just talked it out.” “We never agreed.” “Oh, you know as well as I do. Don’t be obstinate, darling.” “Oh, sure,” I said. “I know you’re right. I’m just low, and when I’m low I talk like a fool.” I sat up, leaned over, found my shoes beside the bed and put them on. I stood up. “Don’t look like that, darling.” “How do you want me to look?” “Oh, don’t be a fool. I’m going away to-morrow.” “To-morrow?” “Yes. Didn’t I say so? I am.” “Let’s have a drink, then. The count will be back.” “Yes. He should be back. You know he’s extraordinary about buying champagne. It means any amount to him.” We went into the dining-room. I took up the brandy bottle and poured Brett a drink and one for myself. There was a ring at the bell-pull. I went to the door and there was the count. Behind him was the chauffeur carrying a basket of champagne. “Where should I have him put it, sir?” asked the count. “In the kitchen,” Brett said. “Put it in there, Henry,” the count motioned. “Now go down and get the ice.” He stood looking after the basket inside the kitchen door. “I think you’ll find that’s very good wine,” he said. “I know we don’t get much of a chance to judge good wine in the States now, but I got this from a friend of mine that’s in the business.” “Oh, you always have some one in the trade,” Brett said. “This fellow raises the grapes. He’s got thousands of acres of them.” “What’s his name?” asked Brett. “Veuve Cliquot?” “No,” said the count. “Mumms. He’s a baron.” “Isn’t it wonderful,” said Brett. “We all have titles. Why haven’t you a title, Jake?” “I assure you, sir,” the count put his hand on my arm. “It never does a man any good. Most of the time it costs you money.” “Oh, I don’t know. It’s damned useful sometimes,” Brett said. “I’ve never known it to do me any good.” “You haven’t used it properly. I’ve had hell’s own amount of credit on mine.” “Do sit down, count,” I said. “Let me take that stick.” The count was looking at Brett across the table under the gas-light. She was smoking a cigarette and flicking the ashes on the rug. She saw me notice it. “I say, Jake, I don’t want to ruin your rugs. Can’t you give a chap an ash-tray?” I found some ash-trays and spread them around. The chauffeur came up with a bucket full of salted ice. “Put two bottles in it, Henry,” the count called. “Anything else, sir?” “No. Wait down in the car.” He turned to Brett and to me. “We’ll want to ride out to the Bois for dinner?” “If you like,” Brett said. “I couldn’t eat a thing.” “I always like a good meal,” said the count. “Should I bring the wine in, sir?” asked the chauffeur. “Yes. Bring it in, Henry,” said the count. He took out a heavy pigskin cigar-case and offered it to me. “Like to try a real American cigar?” “Thanks,” I said. “I’ll finish the cigarette.” He cut off the end of his cigar with a gold cutter he wore on one end of his watch-chain. “I like a cigar to really draw,” said the count “Half the cigars you smoke don’t draw.” He lit the cigar, puffed at it, looking across the table at Brett. “And when you’re divorced, Lady Ashley, then you won’t have a title.” “No. What a pity.” “No,” said the count. “You don’t need a title. You got class all over you.” “Thanks. Awfully decent of you.” “I’m not joking you,” the count blew a cloud of smoke. “You got the most class of anybody I ever seen. You got it. That’s all.” “Nice of you,” said Brett. “Mummy would be pleased. Couldn’t you write it out, and I’ll send it in a letter to her.” “I’d tell her, too,” said the count. “I’m not joking you. I never joke people. Joke people and you make enemies. That’s what I always say.” “You’re right,” Brett said. “You’re terribly right. I always joke people and I haven’t a friend in the world. Except Jake here.” “You don’t joke him.” “That’s it.” “Do you, now?” asked the count. “Do you joke him?” Brett looked at me and wrinkled up the corners of her eyes. “No,” she said. “I wouldn’t joke him.” “See,” said the count. “You don’t joke him.” “This is a hell of a dull talk,” Brett said. “How about some of that champagne?” The count reached down and twirled the bottles in the shiny bucket. “It isn’t cold, yet. You’re always drinking, my dear. Why don’t you just talk?” “I’ve talked too ruddy much. I’ve talked myself all out to Jake.” “I should like to hear you really talk, my dear. When you talk to me you never finish your sentences at all.” “Leave ’em for you to finish. Let any one finish them as they like.” “It is a very interesting system,” the count reached down and gave the bottles a twirl. “Still I would like to hear you talk some time.” “Isn’t he a fool?” Brett asked. “Now,” the count brought up a bottle. “I think this is cool.” I brought a towel and he wiped the bottle dry and held it up. “I like to drink champagne from magnums. The wine is better but it would have been too hard to cool.” He held the bottle, looking at it. I put out the glasses. “I say. You might open it,” Brett suggested. “Yes, my dear. Now I’ll open it.” It was amazing champagne. “I say that is wine,” Brett held up her glass. “We ought to toast something. ‘Here’s to royalty.’” “This wine is too good for toast-drinking, my dear. You don’t want to mix emotions up with a wine like that. You lose the taste.” Brett’s glass was empty. “You ought to write a book on wines, count,” I said. “Mr. Barnes,” answered the count, “all I want out of wines is to enjoy them.” “Let’s enjoy a little more of this,” Brett pushed her glass forward. The count poured very carefully. “There, my dear. Now you enjoy that slowly, and then you can get drunk.” “Drunk? Drunk?” “My dear, you are charming when you are drunk.” “Listen to the man.” “Mr. Barnes,” the count poured my glass full. “She is the only lady I have ever known who was as charming when she was drunk as when she was sober.” “You haven’t been around much, have you?” “Yes, my dear. I have been around very much. I have been around a very great deal.” “Drink your wine,” said Brett. “We’ve all been around. I dare say Jake here has seen as much as you have.” “My dear, I am sure Mr. Barnes has seen a lot. Don’t think I don’t think so, sir. I have seen a lot, too.” “Of course you have, my dear,” Brett said. “I was only ragging.” “I have been in seven wars and four revolutions,” the count said. “Soldiering?” Brett asked. “Sometimes, my dear. And I have got arrow wounds. Have you ever seen arrow wounds?” “Let’s have a look at them.” The count stood up, unbuttoned his vest, and opened his shirt. He pulled up the undershirt onto his chest and stood, his chest black, and big stomach muscles bulging under the light. “You see them?” Below the line where his ribs stopped were two raised white welts. “See on the back where they come out.” Above the small of the back were the same two scars, raised as thick as a finger. “I say. Those are something.” “Clean through.” The count was tucking in his shirt. “Where did you get those?” I asked. “In Abyssinia. When I was twenty-one years old.” “What were you doing?” asked Brett. “Were you in the army?” “I was on a business trip, my dear.” “I told you he was one of us. Didn’t I?” Brett turned to me. “I love you, count. You’re a darling.” “You make me very happy, my dear. But it isn’t true.” “Don’t be an ass.” “You see, Mr. Barnes, it is because I have lived very much that now I can enjoy everything so well. Don’t you find it like that?” “Yes. Absolutely.” “I know,” said the count. “That is the secret. You must get to know the values.” “Doesn’t anything ever happen to your values?” Brett asked.